


There's A Ghost in the Mirror

by death_of_romeo



Category: Rooster Teeth/Achievement Hunter RPF
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-11-23
Updated: 2014-11-23
Packaged: 2018-02-26 07:24:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,392
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2643185
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/death_of_romeo/pseuds/death_of_romeo
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ray died months ago. The team learned to cope. Gavin and Michael just learned to accept that they would forever be one lad short. Jack and Geoff became uncomfortably accustomed to the absence of stupid jokes and comments. </p><p>Ryan never did.</p>
            </blockquote>





	There's A Ghost in the Mirror

**Author's Note:**

> ((This ship will be the death of me. This was a spur of the moment idea. Enjoy! x))

 

It had been a car accident. Irony was a cold-hearted bitch, wasn't she? Ray didn't even fucking _drive_ , damn it, and it wasn't _fair_. 

The rest of the AH gang grieved separately, differently. Michael and Gavin took time off, spent time together. They didn't do much. They played video games, every fucking video game they could get their hands on. They played all day, all night. It had been Gavin's idea, figuring it was the best way to commemorate the passing of their friend. Michael didn't say much. For days, he didn't say much. He just played games. Stupid Nintendo stuff, dozens of mindless games of Tetris, hours upon hours of Halo, Call of Duty, Destiny. He just wanted to _kill_. He wanted someone else to feel his pain because god fucking _damn_ it, Gavin, he _can't_ be dead, he _can't_ be.

Jack and Geoff grieved differently. Geoff was pissed off, and he had every right to be. He had every right to try to drink reality away, to try and pretend that that stupid little Puerto Rican brat was still here, that he was still fucking _alive_ , but _damn_ it, he _wasn't_ and he never fucking _would_ be. Jack tried to cope with it as best he could, which mostly meant just taking care of the others. That meant endless nights making sure a drunken Geoff Ramsey made it home safe, countless encounters with an enraged Michael Jones screaming and shouting and threatening to find the bastard whose reckless driving took his friend's life. His coping meant protecting the others, it meant making sure that they learned to live with it. It meant moving on.

Ryan just coped in the best way that he knew how; keeping the lad alive. Not literally, of course. That would require more effort (and money, probably) than he was willing to offer. But figuratively, he could easily keep the lad alive. His jokes (albeit slightly offensive - but hey, everyone loved Ryan, it would be fine), his comebacks (albeit sometimes not completely logical), his stupid little catch-phrases. Any and everything that the lad left behind, Ryan would pick up and keep alive. If he couldn't keep Ray alive, he would sure as hell keep his words alive.

One too many cries of _it has no brakes!_ , and one too many let's plays paused for his stopping to pick the roses from the Minecraft landscape, however, got the remaining lads talking. They had their rumors, those of secret affairs, unspoken love-making in the dead of the night. They spoke of the _real_ reason why the gent was holding on ever so tightly to their friend's idiotic comebacks. Gavin believed it to be because _they're dating, Micoo, they had to be!_ Michael didn't quite believe this to be true, but he _did_ think that they were on the right track. They even got the other gents' ideas, which basically meant _Gavin, no don't ask Geoff what he thinks about Ryan missing Ray because they were banging._  He did ask Geoff, though, and Geoff did agree that it was logical. Jack didn't want to put his input in, but with a little more nagging ( _Jack, come on, do you think it at least makes sense?_ ), the gent said the same. 

Ryan was kept in the dark when it came to these quiet rumors. He knew nothing of them, and the rest of the AH crew wanted to keep it that way. They all agreed to never speak of those things when the gent was around. It was their little secret, as Gavin so very claimed more than once, and they would do everything in their power to keep it that way. After all, rumors of someone sleeping with a guy who just recently passed isn't exactly the best publicity for a company, regardless of their brand or audience. 

 

 

* * *

 

_"Dude, fuck whatever our 'brand' is. I'm sure the audience would love to see a Mavin sex tape!"_

_"It would attract a bigger crowd. You know, pull in all those avid porn-lovers."_

_They weren't sure how the topic had come up. Michael had said something, maybe. Or maybe it was Gavin. Whoever it was and however it came about, none of that mattered. All that mattered was that the topic was now a live sex tape of Achievement Hunter's very own Michael Jones and Gavin Free._

_"Ray, we're not releasing any sex tapes."_

_"And Ryan, stop supporting him!"_

_The two smiled at each other, a mix of appreciation, and amusement, and '_ _holy shit, man, we're gonna get a live sex tape of these two and it's gonna be fucking great.'_

_"Hey, let's make a deal. You release one of you and Gav, and I'll release one of me and Ryan."_

_"Ray, **no!** "_

 

* * *

 

It had been a solid month and a half since the lad's sudden passing. The initial mourning period had passed, the usual crew had calmed down, relaxed. Michael wasn't so angry all the time (though Gavin would say otherwise; _do you know how many broken bottles I've had to clean up?_ ), Gavin wasn't so sad all the time (though Michael would say otherwise; _do you realize how many nights I haven't fucking slept just because that asshole wouldn't stop crying?_ ). Geoff wasn't as drunk all the time (though ask Jack, and he would explain how he's stayed with the gent almost every night since that day a month and a half ago, making sure the man didn't try to drink his own life away), Jack wasn't so stressed all the time (though Geoff would defend otherwise; _that bastard has made sure I'm alright for a month now, you'd think I was his kid or something_ ). Everyone was seeming to get better, to accept the fact that Ray was gone. Even Ryan, as much as he hated to admit it, was learning to move on. He had slowly but surely stopped trying to keep the lad's sayings and such alive. The occasional comment still arose, of course it did, but that was just naturally. That wasn't from longing, not anymore. That was fucking ingrained in his mind; there was no getting rid of it now.

Ray had joked, once, that once Ryan had let him in, gotten too close to him, that there was no getting rid of him. _I'm like fucking cancer or some shit_ , he had said. _You won't be able to get rid of me._

Ryan had defended that he never would even _want_ to get rid of him. _I mean, if you're my cancer, then I would gladly let you kill me_ , he had replied. _Just promise me that it'll be painless, that's all I ask._

Now, a month and a half later, he couldn't stop thinking over those words. He couldn't stop thinking over how that car crash must have felt, how the sudden impact must have surprised the lad, must have startled him for the one milli-second that he was aware of things. He couldn't stop wondering if the lad had felt it. He couldn't stop wondering if death was as dark and horrid as he had been told, if it felt anything like the emptiness he was left with. He couldn't stop wondering if death felt anything like an empty side of the bed, like a silent apartment, like an untouched Xbox controller because _that one was Ray's_. 

 

The others had mourned, but they didn't know a _damn_ thing about missing Ray. They didn't know a _damn_ thing about how it felt to wake up to an empty space at his side, a cold pillow next to his head because _damn it, he's not back yet, but he will be_. It didn't make any sense, he knew that it didn't, but he still liked to hope that maybe, just maybe, this was all just a really bad dream. Maybe it was all just a really elaborate prank. Ray liked pranking people, right? Maybe this was all just a really offensive, really complicated prank. He knew that it probably wasn't true, but he still liked to hope. He still liked to tell himself that some day, Ray would come back. _Ha, jokes on you! You really fell for it!_ , he would cry, laugh at Ryan's expense, and all would be well. 

Fuck, was that the better option to believe in than the real one. 

 


End file.
